I’m posting some of the letters I’ve written this summer here. I didn’t update the content at all (so maybe like when I say 72 hours, I mean this weird synchronicity that happened in June), but it’s relevant to my work and hey, if you’re just now seeing it, well, welcome! The invitation to connect is always open. xoM
_______________
When I was a student, and obviously dealing with some self-doubt issues, I’d preface my curiosity with “I have a stupid question…” and the nicer teachers would always say, “there are no stupid questions, Marie…” And that may or may not have been the case.
But I have come to believe that there is such a thing as a better question.
And I was reminded of this reading Emily Cornell’s Unexpected Expat. (I don’t actually know Emily, but I’m loving her work! And we both worked with the very wonderful Sondra Primeaux through Change your Story).
Anyway, it turns out Emily and I share the same history of believing in the importance of the question, “what do you do?” I felt if I knew how people paid the rent, I could mentally give it the thumbs up or down and figure out what I should do with my life by process of elimination. I still slip, but Emily pointed to this article, which talks about relationship building and lists 8 of better questions to ask someone you’ve just met, or someone you haven’t seen in a while, or heck, plain old anyone.
Which brings me back to the relationship I’m building with the source.
So, let’s begin.
In the Exercise, the first step is to ask a question. The last part of the exercise is also about asking questions, but those are to investigate and pick apart the answer you got (or not).
But what kind of question do you start with? I say, ask something you might ask a tarot deck. A couple of weeks back, Sondra said to pull a tarot card is to “google the unconscious.” I like that.
Try asking about something you’re curious about but don’t have the foggiest idea of what you’re going to hear when answered.
When you’re meeting the Source, it's sort of like meeting a new person you know nothing about, except that you can ask anything. So take a page from that article (or any icebreaker/relationship building exercise really) but dial it up and ask questions that remind you what gets your juices going.
What has been gnawing on me forever? What do I go to sleep thinking about and what wakes me up in the morning?
What needs addressing RIGHT NOW? And what can I put off?
What was I listening to the last time I sat in the car with the engine running while my groceries melted?
What was the last thing I had an immediate gut reaction to? That I knew was JUST RIGHT for me?
Why was the best thing that happened today (last week, last year…) the BEST?
It can be any question really, but before asking, I like to rephrase my questions to be more open ended and to generate an answer that’s not going to raise my blood pressure or stress me out. For example, when I start a session with something like, "what’s been gnawing at me forever?” I get, “what HASN’T been gnawing at me forever?"
So, I pause.
I reframe.
(Sometimes this takes a minute…)
I try to ask a better question. Something like, "what’s The Most Important Thing I should know right now?” Or, “what kind of energy do I need to channel to get through the first thing on my list?”
See? Better questions. For me anyway.
Because I need flexibility. I need an answer, but if I am presented with something concrete, I’m going to get stuck in the same thumbs up or thumbs down reaction I had when asking people what did they do. I need a broad range. I need a flashlight in a dark hallway, not a rope to tug me along. And the Source is really good at handing out flashlights.
When I ask what’s The Most Important Thing right now, I get to see how I am spending my life.
Writing it down helps me see over time all the things that were The Most Important Thing more than once.
And writing that down over and over helps me see WHY. Was it fear or was it love? Was it true? Really?
All that stuff.
It’s a huge work in progress. A forever-type line of work. And maybe one that answers the question “what do you do?” after all.